Worn

Sometimes you just feel Worn Out!

Grief can be tiring, draining and exhausting at times.

You feel like you have to hold it all together when all you want to do is fall apart.

You feel like you are in a fog… walking around like a zombie.

Take some time to rest, to be still, to be quiet, to be patient with yourself and to just be…

Remember even though you may feel WORN out right now… there is Hope… Hope for healing…Hope for the future…

Worn

By Tenth Avenue North

I’m tired
I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn even before the day begins
I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn so heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Sacredness In Tears

There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.

They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.

They are messengers of overwhelming grief…and unspeakable love.”

Washington Irving

Grieving on Mother’s Day

Celebrating Moms…

I know that Mother’s day is a day of celebration for so many, but for others and many of my friends this is a very painful and difficult day, remembering the pain of their loss.

For those who have lost a mom, child, aunt, sister, a grandmother, a “just like a mom,” a friend, a wife, and those struggling with infertility…

I pray for peace in your heart and comfort for your soul

Allow your tears to flow, when they come

Many people dread Mother’s Day, because it’s just hard to face the raw emotional pain of your loss and want the day to come and go as quickly as possible.

For others it may be a time of being still and reflection, remembering, missing and honoring your loved one.

And for some you’re kind of in the middle beyond the raw excruciating pain but not quite able to reflect and remember with joy.

Everyone is at a different stage in their grieving process, so don’t compare yourself to others; just feel how you feel

Grief takes time… It’s a process

Joy will come again one day…

Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Nehemiah 8:10 (NKJV)

Never lose Hope!

Embrace with gratitude the love and beauty surrounding you today

Hold on tightly to God and allow Him to give you comfort in your despair and longing and receive the peace that only He can give.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27(NIV)

Take a moment to quietly reflect and remember

Be kind to yourself

Remember that God is with you always and He will never leave you.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Blessed are those who mourn, for they WILL be comforted.

Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

Sending everyone a big (((HUG)))

Happy and Blessed Mother’s Day!

Grief Concealed…

He that conceals his grief finds no remedy for it.

Turkish Proverb

20 Things You Probably Should Not Say To Someone Who Is Grieving!

We all are guilty of saying goofy and inappropriate things to someone after they have experienced a death or a loss.

We feel that we have to say something.

And so sometimes without much thought we blurt out something that we consider to be comforting.

The only problem with that is sometimes it is more hurtful than helpful!

And the after effects of that hurt can linger for many years.

I don’t want you to be afraid to say something, to a loved one or friend, but consider the circumstances and always think before you speak.

I have listed below just some of the phrases I have read, as well as some of the non-comforting statements received that many have shared with me over the years. I’ve also shared a lot of info in my social media with Social Boosting to boost our content.

20 things you probably should not say to someone who is grieving!

1. Don’t cry

2. Are you still crying?

3. It’s been a long time. You should be moving on

4. You can have other children/ or at least you have other children

5. At least you’re young; you can get married again

6. You are holding up so well

7. I know how you feel

8. God won’t give you more than you can handle

9. Now God has another angel in heaven

10. You must be strong

11. They lived a long life

12. He/she is in a better place now

13. How old was he/she?

14. I can imagine how hard this is for you

15. Call me if you need something

16. He/she isn’t hurting anymore

17. It must have been God’s will

18. It could have been worse

19. Let’s not talk about it because it will just upset you

20. Time will heal

Bonus:

Don’t try to answer their questions of “why?”

So remember:

Sometimes we mean well, but some of the things that we say to family, friends and even strangers after they’ve experienced a loss can be very upsetting; even if it was not intentional.

We weren’t ever really taught how to grieve well or what to say to those who are grieving; but the good news is that we can learn.

Listed below are a few helpful things that you can say or do:

1. LISTEN! LISTEN! LISTEN!

2. Tell them that you are praying for them

3. I am sorry for your loss

4. Give a (((HUG)))

5. I don’t know what to say

6. Be present- if you don’t have time to listen don’t ask how are you doing because the answer may not be “fine”

7. Be specific about what you will do to help

8. Say the name of the person who died

9. Ask, “how are you really feeling?”

10. Be patient

11. Don’t try to “fix” the grieving person.

12. Encourage them to attend a support group, if they are interested

13. This must be very painful for you

14. Listen without offering advice or judgements

but…

Don’t beat yourself up, we have all said things that we wish we could take back.

And for those who are grieving, give grace to those who are hoping to comfort you.

Think before you speak and if you can’t think of anything to say… Don’t say anything. Give a hug or just offer a listening ear.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.

James 1:19

Blessings!

What are some of the non-helpful things you’ve heard on your journey?

A Time to Mourn

Solomon said, “There is a time to mourn!” Give yourself some. Face your grief with tears, time, and one more—face your grief with truth.

Max Lucado

Grief Is Like An Ocean

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.

Vicki Harrison

“Mourner’s Bill of Rights”

Dr. Alan Wolfelt is an author, educator and grief counselor and Director of the www.centerforloss.com

1. You have the right to experience your own unique grief.

2. You have the right to talk about your grief.

3. You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.

4. You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.

5. You have the right to experience “griefbursts.”

6. You have the right to make use of ritual.

7. You have the right to embrace your spirituality.

8. You have the right to search for meaning.

9. You have the right to treasure your memories.

10. You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.

Grief never ends…

“Grief never ends…but it changes. It’s a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It’s the price of love.”

Anonymous